Chemo #2 = Goodbye Hair...

So here it is. Mom is losing her hair. She kinda reminds me as a molting duckling. She rubs her head and hair falls out. Our bet is that by tomorrow it will be gone as she showers. She is taking this in stride.

Chemo went really well today. She mostly slept through it. When she wasn't asleep I read aloud to her from "Pilgrim's Progress"...which is (I'm finding) a fantastic read.

We came home...and wished we were back in the air conditioned hospital...UGH SO HOTTT.

so...after mom slept for a while we ate cream-sicles and played in the sprinkler...

Chris made us a delicious dinner.

And after we ate mom and I went for a drive to the ocean...
and blessed the sea side with mom's fluffy white hair which floated off in the breeze.

And we got more ICE CREAM
...cuz Mom has cancer. its our excuse for most things.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
nor shall the flame scorch you...For I am the LORD..." Isaiah 43:2-3a

More Chemo tomorrow.

HI Everyone!
I'm back from camp and ready to jump back into the world of cancer! Mom is doing really well. Her first chemo was on the 21st of June and her next one is tomorrow. Please pray for her since the initial couple days after a treatment are very disagreeable to her system.

She had a pretty ugly reaction to the steroid that they gave her to help with nausea, which caused her to spend one night in the hospital last week. Nothing serious but just some esophagus spasms. So pray they lower the dose of that and the reaction isn't there this time around.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!!

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills--
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber...
neither slumber nor sleep." Ps 121:1-4

Mom's first day of Chemotherapy

Chemo started today. We went in at 8:30 this morning and got home at about...1:30. LONG day. That whole time wasn't just chemo though. It was some "chemo education" ...longer than necessary...but informative.
Then Mom was hooked up to her meds and we started having fun. Mom has a wonderful sense of humor and an ability to laugh in the worst of times...which is something I am so thankful for. It definately came in handy when I fell in April and is coming in handy again now. Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart does good like medicine"...Praise God for merry hearts.
So we made a few friends, had a few laughs, a few "dance partys"...and came home. Mom said she felt "high as a kite"...and then started to feel tired and sick.
She's had a nap...and been chilling on the couch. I managed to get a little dinner into her and pretty soon we'll be calling it a day. She's a trooper for sure. I love her! <3

She goes in for a shot tomorrow, and then nothing else for two weeks...then chemo again. By the way...the PET scan was fine. Nothing of note.

"Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth,
neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
and to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
and the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint" Isaiah 40:28-31

Praise the Lord that with Jesus there is always a "But..."

...

Mom told me to tell you that she starts chemotherapy on Monday...and she has a PET scan tomorrow.
That's all.


I just returned from Canada. I had a wonderful time visiting the campus of NBBI where I just graduated. It was super quiet there...and I was able to spend some time thinking and relaxing and enjoyed laughter with some friends. It was refreshing.

I've decided to put my plans on hold for the fall concerning the internship I had in Canada to work at a church there. I think the best way for me to spend this year is to stay home with mom. So I'll be working here, and ministering in my church, and VERY EXCITING!! teaching social studies with my friend's 2nd grader who is being homeschooled this year.

So the year looks bright despite a "delay" from my perspective...
in reality all our days are known by the Lord...and He is in control. May this decision shine His love into our home.

"Be quiet, why this anxious heed
about thy tangled ways!
God knows them all, He giveth speed,
And He allows delays."

scratch that...

Okay...so Mom's not having surgery on the 17th. And the tumor is only 2.7 cm and the one up under her arm is 2.4 cm. That is good news. We're planning on not having surgery until after chemo is over.

Mom has a whole list of things to do in the next week or so before starting chemotherapy. She has to have a bone scan and cat scan and a heart scan and a mediport inserted (so she doesn't have to have a new IV every time she has chemo.) and she has to clips inserted to mark where the tumor is.

then chemo begins. I'll let you know the exact dates when we know but chemo starts very soon.

Outrageous Goodness

This blog entry isn't about my mom.

This is about God.
I've found myself frequently saying just in passing lately, "God is good".
And that phrase passes across my lips with no thought behind it. I know its true. But in the midst of anger and fear and anxiety and everything else...how dare I not think of what I'm saying...?

God is good. Without goodness...He would not be God.

Consider for one moment...the goodness of God.
He didn't have to make so many kinds of flowers...
He didn't have to make them smell good.
He didn't have to give each kind of plant a different leaf...
And consider that these brilliant beautiful plants keep us alive by "breathing in" what we breath out?
Look at the multitudes of different creatures that fill up our planet? DIVERSITY...the humpback whale...the labrador...the spider...the sparrow...
the Bible tells us that God cares for the grasses of the field and the birds in the air...how much more does He care for us?
God build humans in His image...
I mean seriously...look at your feet...who came up with that?!? That's brilliant!
Or your eye?
Or your heart...or ...anything. How good is He?
I mean how nice is it that we don't feed our young like pelicans do? its nice that we have breasts to get cancer in at all...

What about the fact that I'm here in Brunswick Maine...and so is God...but He's everywhere else too. No one is ever out of reach. No one ever cries and He doesn't hear them. No one has ever been born that He has not known...No one has ever slipped under the radar.

And there's never been a moment of your life that He doesn't know about. He sees every thought. He hears every sigh. He feels every hurt...

Or think about the fact that God hates sin. So often we think that's because He's this super party pooper in the sky...but its not. God hates sin because He loves us. God tells us not to kill and lust and steal because ...can we just be honest and say life would be just better if we didn't hurt each other and take each other's spouses and stuff...Wouldn't life be better if we told the truth? Wouldn't life be simpler if babies grew up with both parents? In truth we can agree that a good God made good laws for us...and is just for hating when we break them?

Think about how GOOD He is for loving us...I mean, so many times we define ourselves by our sins...subconsciously or not. I mean we call people things like theives, murderers, liars...we come up with titles for everything. God knows what we've done. Most importantly He knows that most of us NEVER think that He's good. We never consider our Maker...we just keep living as though we came up with the idea.

He doesn't love you because He's lonely and pining away. He doesn't love you because you've done Him any favors. He just loves you because HE IS LOVE. ...think about it. Most of us wouldn't be very lovely if everyone knew everything about us. I wouldn't be very loveable. But He who knows me completely still loves me completely. That's insane.

His goodness is extraordinary. Its outrageous. If you could grasp it all at once it would probably kill you. It is truely shocking. And the funny thing is that we go through life really thinking we're worthy of this kind of love.

we're not.

The God who put rings around Saturn and gave me the ability to laugh and cry and think...the God who thought of stripes for tigers and webs for spiders...

I DO NOT DESERVE HIS LOVE. And news flash...neither do you.

SO....where is this all going...

cancer happens...

and I find myself saying, "Oh, God is still good..."

Oh but isn't He?

MRI results

Mom heard from the Dr yesterday about her MRI...
Unfortunately it was not a very clear report. They told her that the original tumor appears to be larger than they had thought at first (bigger than 3 cm) and it is still unclear whether the 2nd tumor is in a lymphnode or in breast tissue.

Anyway...since Doctor's can never be discouraged they scheduled her for surgery on June 17th....two weeks from today.

Obviously we still have some unanswered questions. We intend to sit down with the Dr this week or next and have a talk.

We appriaciate your prayers.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?
Thhe LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1